Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
