okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
