I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
