only you would photoshop your dick
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
