Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
