Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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