wrigley field is MILF paradise
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My penis needs a shock collar
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
