He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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