8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
