You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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