FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
