Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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