Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
40s are totally the cure
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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