Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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