I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize