I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
