girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
