u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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