I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
