i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
