After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
3pm strippers are depressing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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