Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
