The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
