Define "chronic" masturbator.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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