who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
