nut hugger
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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