If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
