She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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