My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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