i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
All the doctor said was why
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
