if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
