Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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