I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
