He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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