Who did Billy Mays play for?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
