I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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