my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
