I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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