All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
