You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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