I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They took my balls.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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