I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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