weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
