I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
