quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
