brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
