sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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