I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
