I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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