Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
false alarm, still single
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
