Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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