May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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