so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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