My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have post one night stand depression
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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