so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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