Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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