whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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