Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
