I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
