Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
