Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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