I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
