you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
