I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
